Guidance & Counseling

What is Emergency Contraception?
Emergency contraception is a birth control method that prevents pregnancy within the first 3 days after sex. However, it should not be used as regular birth control. Other birth control methods are much better at preventing pregnancy. It is best to talk to your doctor to decide which one is right for you.
In what situations should emergency contraception be used?
•    You didn’t use birth control
•    You were forced to have sex
•    The condom broke or came off
•    Your IUD comes out
•    In cases of rape as Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP)
•    Three or more consecutively missed combined oral contraceptive pills (depending on the brand you use)
•    You use the natural family planning method and didn’t abstain from sex on the fertile days of your cycle
•    You have reason to think your regular birth control might have failed

Methods of Emergency Contraception
 There are two methods of emergency contraception:
1.    Emergency Contraception Pills (ECP)
2.    Copper-bearing intrauterine devices (IUDs).
Emergency Contraception Pills are sometimes called:
•    The morning after pill
•    The day after pill
•    Postinor 2
•    Plan B pill
•    E-pill
The e-pill is most effective if it’s taken as soon as possible after you have had unprotected sex. Some health care providers recommend getting an emergency pill and keeping it at home just in case. However if taken 72 hours after sex, the e-pill can still work.

Is the e-pill an abortion pill?
The e-pill is not an abortion pill. If an egg is already fertilized, the e-pill cannot work. If you take the e-pill before ovulation, the e-pill tricks your body into thinking that ovulation has already happened, so it delays ovulation. It also thickens the mucus on your cervix, making it hard for sperm to get into the womb thus preventing pregnancy.
If you already are pregnant and take the e-pill, it will have no negative effects on your pregnancy.

Postinor 2:
It is more commonly known as the “morning after pill”. It is formulated to function in a manner similar to the female hormone progesterone, allowing for prevention of pregnancy if taken within a reasonable period of time.
•    How Postinor-2 works:
o    It delays or stops ovulation from taking place if taken as prescribed
o    If ovulation has already taken place, Postinor-2 works by interfering with the passage of the sperm and the egg and makes it difficult for them to meet.
o    It also alters the lining of the uterus and makes it inhabitable for the fertilized egg to implant itself there
It is recommended that Postinor-2 be taken no later than three days after having unprotected sex. However, it is more effective in cases where the treatment was started closer to the time of the sexual encounter.
•    Dosage: 2 doses spaced out at 12 hour intervals
o    It’s important to note that if regurgitation (vomiting) occurs within two hours of taking the first dose, it is vital to immediately take the second pill in the series and contact a physician for a replacement
o    Should the second dosage not be administered on time, contact a physician and seek counsel on whether another round of treatment is needed
o    A maximum of 3 packets of Postinor-2 should be taken in a year at an interval of four months

Side effects
•    Nausea and vomiting
•    Dizziness
•    Diarrhoea
•    Headaches
•    Virginal heavy bleeding
•    Breast tenderness
•    Cramps
•    A sense of fatigue
NB: Generally, these effects will be mild and will fade within a few days. Any changes in menstrual bleeding, or increases in pain from the normal period should be reported to a doctor immediately.

Long term effects of abusing E Pills
•    Ladies who use the emergency pill regularly in place of other methods of contraception increase their chances of getting pregnant
•    May cause infertility and in some instances increase the risk of cancer if taken regularly in place of regular contraceptives

Intra-uterine device (IUD)
Another very effective method of emergency contraception is fitting a Copper-T IUD, also known as the “coil”. Actually, it’s the most effective form of emergency contraception. You need to see a doctor though to have it put in place and it can be a bit pricey. The Copper-T (Paragrad) has one potential additional advantage; it can stay in a woman’s body for up to 10 years afterwards as a normal and effective birth control method.

How the IUD works
The intrauterine device (IUD) is a small, T-shaped contraceptive device made from plastic and copper. A trained health professional inserts it into the uterus and it prevents an egg from implanting in your womb or being fertilised.
If you’ve had unprotected sex, the IUD can be inserted up to five days afterwards, to prevent pregnancy. It is more effective at preventing pregnancy than the emergency pill and it does not interrelate with any other medication.

In your academic life, you will come across and interact with a lot of people from students to staff. In order to communicate effectively, it will be important to understand the different types of communication, what can hinder communication and how you can improve on your communication skills. These will go a long way to helping you not only in your academic life but even in your other relationships. It will certainly also benefit you once you join the working world.
There are two types of communication: Verbal and non-verbal communication

Verbal communication:

•    Entails spoken or written language and helps you carry your thoughts from your mind and to others

Non-verbal communication:

•    This refers to the use of body language to communicate to others
•    About 80% of all communication happens non-verbally

Listening is hard work, it requires willingness and concentration. Only when you can hear a person and understand what they are saying can you be in a position to reply in a sensible way.
Below are a few tips to use your body language to help you listen more effectively and they will also indicate to others that you are alert and attentive to what they are saying.
•    FELORI:
o    F: Face the person
o    E: Eye contact
o    L: Lean slightly towards the person
o    O: Open rather than closed posture
o    R: Relaxed rather than rigid posture
o    I: Show Interest in what the person is saying

Roadblocks:

Roadblocks are ineffective ways of responding to others. They can block the communication process thus hindering communication rather than aiding it. Some of them may appear well meaning but the person on the receiving end can end up feeling judged or misunderstood.

There following are commonly used road blocks.
1.    Advising or giving solutions: Whenever you get a chance, you end up giving advice. For example: “What you should do is…”, “If I were you I would…”
2.    Judging, blaming or criticizing someone: Whenever you get a chance you judge, blame or criticize others. For example: “You are not thinking at all…”, “It is all your fault…”
3.    Moralizing or preaching: Whenever you get a chance, you end up preaching. For example: “You should…”, “You ought to…”
4.    Probing/ questioning: For example: “Why did you…?”, “How..?”
5.    Ordering/ Commanding: For example: “You must…”, “You have no choice…”
6.    Diverting/ withdrawal: Trying not to talk at all or trying to change the conversation: For example, “Let’s talk about something else…”
7.    Name calling/ Ridiculing: For example: “Don’t be such a jerk…”, “You are a spoilt brat…”
8.    Warning/ threatening:  For example: “If you don’t then…”, “You’d better or…”
9.    Praising/ Agreeing: For example: “I wouldn’t let that bother you, you are great…”

Things to consider:
Different people resent different roadblocks being used on them. Which roadblocks do you particularly resent being used on you? Which ones do you think you might be using when communicating to others? Do they help or hinder your communication?

Remember:
>  More than half of what we communicate, and more than half of what we understand from others is communicated non-verbally.
>  It is thus important to be aware of and work on our non-verbal communication skills.
>  When we wish someone to know that we are listening actively, we need to be aware of the messages our bodies are sending out (FELORI).
>  Be aware of any roadblocks that may be hindering your communication.

HERE ARE SOME TOP TIPS FOR EXAM SUCCESS:

>Create A CONDUCIVE STUDY ENVIRONMENT
Ensure the study area is uncluttered and provides a calm environment

>Revision time table
Break revision periods into manageable chunks and find enough time to relax and sleep.

>Your ‘to do list’
Stay focused, plan a to do list for the day and don’t carry items over to the next day to complete.

>Take regular breaks
If you feel worried or panicking, take a short break, try thinking positively, manage the emotions and practice breathing techniques – hopefully you will be more relaxed and able to focus when you start studying again.

>Diet and exercise
Eating healthy food and drinking water at regular intervals throughout the day will maintain your energy levels and concentration. Avoid too much coffee, tea or ‘energy’ drinks, as the caffeine can make you feel agitated and stop you sleeping. Exercising regularly will also release adrenalin, help to clear your mind and reduce stress.

>Get a study partner/partners
Establish how best you study either individually or in groups.  If in groups, it is important to have someone or even a group of people to encourage you when preparing for exams. They can act as your prompters or checks and help you stick to your study plan and ensure that you don’t get distracted by external factors. Ensure you get a group of likeminded friends who want to achieve the same goal as you and study with them. Apart from acting as a check, your study partners each have individual knowledge that can be brought to the table that would help you in developing a deeper understanding of whatever it is that you are learning.  

>Do not be Afraid!!!
Don’t stress, and don’t panic. Be confident that you have done adequate reading.  The night before your exam, be calm and have adequate rest so that you would be well energized and active enough to pour out all that you have studied.

>GO THROUGH PAST QUESTIONS
 Go through past questions and questions at the end of each chapter in the course text and alternative readings. These gives guidance on the type of questions that are asked, the details and content focused on and help with prediction on questions likely to be asked. They also help you know how well you have studied a particular subject or area as you would be able to use the questions to test your knowledge.

>ASK FOR HELP!
Never be too shy and afraid to ask for help when in doubt. It is better to ask for clarification on any questions you may have than to leave them unattended and not know how to answer them in the exams.

Breaking up with someone you love and care about is not easy, yet sometimes is the best option. Common reasons for breakups include:
•    Unfaithfulness
•    Change/ lack of commitment
•    Insecurity
•    Distance
•    Change in priorities

 
Emotions likely to be after a break-up include:
1.    Self-blame: There must be something I’ve done wrong. If only I had been more caring.
2.    Denial: No way! This is not happening, we are not over…
3.    Anger: How can you do this to me?!
4.    Fear: OMG! This is the end of my world…I am never going to love again
5.    Guilt: I feel terrible that I am the one initiating the break up. He/ She must be really hurt
6.    Hope: Oh maybe s/he will come back to me. We can still make this work
7.    Relief: I am relieved that we won’t continue those vehement fights again
8.    Sadness: I feel so lonely. Now there’s no one count on, no one to share my secrets, no one to watch a movie with…

How to deal with a break-up

•    Avoid risky behaviours such as drug abuse
•    Explore your hobbies ad past times
•    Let your partner go. Do not keep grudges.
•    Learn from your mistakes if any
•    Learn to trust again by trusting
•    Don’t fight your feelings, but identify and acknowledge these feelings
•    Talk to people who can support you about these feelings. It will make you feel less alone. Keeping a diary is also helpful to release your emotions
•    If you still find yourself getting stuck in negative emotions after a few weeks, it may be helpful for you to meet with a counsellor/ psychologist to sort out your thoughts and feelings
•    Encourage yourself to start seeking new hopes and dreams
•    It is important to move forward, however, tae things one step at a time
•    Don’t make the other members of the opposite gender responsible for the mistakes of your ex.
•    Help others

Ever thought why so many people get involved in volunteer work when there are no pay or perks to look forward to? It is simply because the satisfaction that people get from knowing that they are helping or making a difference to the less fortunate. Thus volunteering for a social cause or getting involved with spiritual or charitable work will also help to keep your mind off hurtful thoughts and make the breakup easier to get over.

What is grief?
Grief is a normal response to the loss of someone or something that we love. Grief can be triggered by a number of significant losses such as the end of a relationship, pregnancy, an opportunity is closed to us or the death of a loved one. Grieving is the process in which a person comes to terms with such losses. Grieving does not mean forgetting.
 
People react differently to the pain and sense of finality that the loss brings. Some people experience different emotions such as shock, numbness, sadness, anger and resentment. It is okay to experience some or even all of the different emotions that come in the grieving processes. However, when grief becomes complicated, counselling services should be sought to help one cope with the experience of loss.

What can one do to help with coping?

•    Talk to others: This may initially trigger intense emotions as you talk about the loss. However, allowing others to be there for you is beneficial and it may also help to join a support group or speak to those who have experienced loss.
•    Continue with your routine:  Try to do what you can but do not overwork yourself in an attempt to “forget” your loss
•    Express yourself: music, art or writing are some of the things that can help one express ones feelings
•    Be good to yourself: take time to rest and do the things that you enjoy
•    Be patient with yourself: It is okay to feel that things are not the same as they used to be and it may take time to readjust to life after the loss
•    Dealing with unfinished business: you might experience some intense emotions especially if you were not able to say words like “sorry” or “goodbye” to the deceased. A counselling psychologist could help you with dealing with this.
•    Carry on their legacy: you may find it meaningful to give to others in the memory of the deceased such as by writing books or songs, compiling photos, planning memorials or creating a memory box. You may also want to establish rituals you would like to carry on.

What things are unhelpful?

 
•    Isolating oneself: You may initially want to distance or hide yourself from others.
•    Numbing your pain with alcohol or drugs: substances may help you feel better but only for a while and can have detrimental effects on you
•    Making important decisions to quickly: resist the urge to make impulsive decisions. It is best to seek advice from close ones to assess whether your decisions are rational or more emotionally based
•    Denying your feelings: remember that it is normal to experience the emotions that come with grief. Some find it helpful to cry or scream. Remember that these feelings won’t last forever
•    Expecting that each day you will feel better rather than accepting that you may experience ups and downs: we would hope that one as time passes, one is able to deal with the loss better. However, there is no exact time frame for “feeling better”. You may experience some good days and you may experience some off days. Remember that this is normal. Don’t be hard on yourself.

Self-awareness is having a clear perception of your personality including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivations and emotions. Self-awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.

Why develop self-awareness?
As you develop self-awareness, you are able to make changes in the thoughts and interpretations you make in your mind. Changing the interpretations in your mind allows you to change your emotions.
Self-awareness is the first step in creating what you want. Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. It allows you to see the controls of your emotions, behaviour and personality so you can make changes you want. Until you are aware in the moment of the controls to your thoughts, emotions, words and behaviour, you will have difficulty making changes in the direction of your life.

Types of Self-Awareness

Public Self-Awareness: This type emerges when people are aware of how they appear to others. Public self-awareness can also lead to evaluation anxiety in which people become distressed, anxious, or worried about how they are perceived by others.
Private Self-Awareness: This happens when people become aware of some aspects of themselves, but only in a private way. For example, feeling your stomach lurch when you realize you forgot to study for an important test or feeling your heart flutter when you see someone you are attracted to.
Self-Consciousness: A heightened state of self-awareness. Sometimes, people can become overly self-aware and veer into what is known as self-consciousness. This heightened sense of self-awareness can leave you feeling awkward and nervous in some instances. In a lot of cases, these feelings of self-consciousness are only temporary and arise in situations when we are “in the spotlight”. For some people, however, self-consciousness can become a chronic condition.

Tips on how to develop Self-Awareness

1. Learn to look at yourself objectively: It’s nearly impossible to actually look at yourself objectively, but it is always worth a shot. The main idea here is to study and criticize your decisions. Even better, find some trustworthy friends to talk with and listen to their criticisms.
2. Write your own manifesto: The main purpose of self-awareness is self-improvement, so it makes sense that you need to have goals. If you’re struggling with that part, a manifesto is a great way to push yourself into figuring out what you want.
3. Keep a journal: If you want a more accurate gauge of yourself, a journal is a great way to get it. If you spend time documenting the little things like food intake, water intake or sleep, you might notice a larger trend that you can correct for.
4. Perform a self-review: The self-review is one of those annoying little things that we all do at work, but you can make them beneficial if you think of them more as a thought experiment. Instead of spending your time thinking about what you should improve about yourself, think about what your boss thinks you should do and what co-workers might say. This way, you can see yourself from someone else’s perspective and gain a little extra insight into yourself.

It’s important to remember that self-awareness is introspection, but it’s not navel gazing. Self-absorption and overthinking doesn’t get you anywhere, but being aware of your needs and acting on them can help you improve. You might not realize how often what you’re doing doesn’t correlate to what you want.